SOOO, You, Want to be Special Operations???? She is a Mistress…

As a guy that spent his time in Special Operations, I started my time in the Marine Corps: I was assigned 0311, with my mind set on 0321 or die trying, one simple destroyed ankle… That was it, it devastated me that the Marine Corps discarded during the war on terror (GWOT), after going through boot camp. Something after being through both sides, Marines, Indoctrinate; a lot of people say Marines are “robots” they follow order they do what there told and they don’t second guess, the Army could take a page from this book (the book of Mattis we will call it) a Man that has a Full EGA on his back as a tattoo. ALL Lead by example in my short time in, squared away as f#@%! and held you to there standard. Army Squared away on the surface, you catch them off guard and there top is off there gut is hanging out etc.

To say every Marine is an actual RIFLE MAN may be true in saying but in actuality is a fallacy. There are Marines working desks for years that have never deployed that have some how climbed to the rank of SGT. With out a single OCONUS trip. I have buddies that AT LEAST WENT TO KOREA!!!! I was not in long enough but simple observations lead me to believe that they propelled some for odd reasons and none for the wrong reasons, I believe some if not most 0311 Marines will back me on this.

Discarded Trash from the Marine Corps I gathered my self up, I never had surgery on my ankle only a month of rehab; so I did not have to have surgery. In my small time home as I sought out an Army recruiter and how to get into the Special Operations field from the street (as the Army lets you do)

I found a girl (Im not a DOG I remember every REAL RELATIONSHIP Ive ever had, I can tell you how I met her, I can tell you where I met her, I can tell you every detail) I wandered into an electronics store with a friend that I no longer associate with. He went to check on his schedule or something, and then flirt with the “girl” she said “you should come over when I get off, we will have a lil get together of sorts” We all agreed and to be honest I was there for the ride. I showed up and had a few drinks, after awhile, Helen Keler could see whats going on. I tried to ignore, all of a sudden she was sitting in a spot that only she could fit. I was shocked, a relationship budded until I booted up her computer to make her a CD for work and hundred upon hundreds of e-mails showed up from her husband who was out on a naval vessel. IF not so young I felt like I was having a heart attack. I printed them off, bound them, and never heard from her until I was clearing out contacts on my phone. I shot her a txt, her husband died a week ago, from cancer… Painful horrible death… I still find it hard to live with my self, what I did to that man, I put my most prized coin at his head stone at the “garden of stone” where he is buried when I was up that way.

I left for the Army and cruised through training, until the mind games of Special Operations. Thinking I have felt with a lot, I had not been through anything when the Cadre was inside my head playing with my head and psychologist and psychiatrist judging how I was going to react to it. Completing that and heading off to the pipeline of hell that I went through with breaks of fun like Airborne school, and Halo School, doing nothing my self to prove it to the team that I deserved to be there. It seemingly took a life time of infallible skill to make it inside, knowing I messed up the entire way.

Getting into the team room is some of the greatest feeling, and some of the overwhelming release at the same time. Much like the relationship, I had such fun but in the absolute end I sat there and thought was it worth it. (TAKING THE OPERATIONS OUT OF IT) I worked with the smartest dudes, some guys could take a radio that talked to airplanes and somehow bounce a signal to an FM station at home… (back before face time etc.) Guys who could interrogate an HVT and know the answer before he got it and we had not told HQ that we had him yet. (Back before rules and stuff)

LIFE is hell just getting in… but,

“Special Forces is a Mistress”. 

Your wives will envy her because she will have your hearts. Your wives will be jealous of her because of the power to pull you away. This mistress will show you things never before seen and experience things never before felt. She will love you, but only a little, seducing you to want more, give more, die for her. She will take you away from the ones you love, and you will hate her for it, but leave her you never will, but if you must, you will miss her, for she has a part of you that will never be returned intact.

And in the end, she will leave you for a younger man.”

James R. Ward, OSS

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